The Myth That’s Killing Referrals
Here’s the uncomfortable truth about referrals.
There’s some bad – or should I say very incomplete advice going around about what it takes to generate quality referrals.
Yes, you should show up on time. Yes, you should do what you say, finish what you start, and say please and thank you. Dan Sullivan is 100% right – these are non-negotiables.
But let’s not confuse table stakes with what actually wins the game.
If you think just being polite and punctual is going to have clients raving about you to their friends, family, and golfing buddies, you’re in for a long, quiet wait by the phone.
Being referable or even remarkable – that is, truly worthy of remark – requires a much higher level of engagement. It’s not about being professional. It’s about being memorable and about being meaningful. It’s about giving clients something to talk about.
Your clients already expect you to be competent. That’s not a differentiator – it’s the price of admission. No one’s going to say, “You’ve got to meet my advisor – he’s always on time!”
What DOES Make You Referable?
Being referable is about two main things:
- Continually creating value – sometimes beyond the expected.
- Building a genuine personal connection. I call this a “business friendship.” Not the same as your regular friends, but a connection that goes beyond the core work that you do.
It’s about showing up for your clients in ways that make their lives easier, better, or more enjoyable – and making sure they feel seen, heard, and appreciated along the way.
And it’s not just about creating “memorable experiences” – though there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s about creating meaningful experiences; experiences transform your clients’ view of themselves and what they think is possible.
6 Strategies to Put into Play – Right Now
- Develop and Use a Client Engagement Plan.
When it comes to client contact and client service, winging it is not a strategy.
Create a simple, repeatable plan for staying in touch with clients throughout the year – and not just when you want to talk about their portfolio, insurance, taxes, or other financial matters. This could include check-in calls, surprise gifts, education sessions, or just thoughtful messages that show you’re paying attention to their life and goals. - Add Ongoing, Unexpected Value
A big bonus to the relationship comes in the form of you finding ways to bring value when there’s no urgent issue to solve:
Share insights about economic conditions. Send articles that matter to them. Introduce them to other professionals in your network. Give their kids financial or career advice. Help with a non-financial decision.
The moment you’re no longer adding value, you’re no longer necessary. And no one refers “unnecessary.” - Host Client Appreciation Events (Yes, Even Small Ones)
You don’t need to rent out a stadium or bring in a keynote speaker from Shark Tank. A small dinner, a local wine tasting, or a golf outing does the trick. Why?
Experiences stick. You further your personal connection. And when clients bring a guest, they’re essentially recommending you.
Here’s a tip about events: Err on the side of smaller events. The larger the event, the thinner the connections you will make with the attendees. - Break Bread at Least Once a Year (At Least with Your Top Clients)
Sharing a meal changes the dynamic. It moves the relationship from transactional to relational. Like I’ve said, you don’t have to become BFFs – but you can become “business friends.”
Invite your top-level clients out for a meal or beverage at least once per year. You’ll be amazed how quickly this enhances the relationship. - Make It Personal (Without Getting Weird)
Did your client’s child just get into college? Send a card. Did their child or grandchild win a soccer tournament? Shoot them a text. Did their alma mater win a big game. Congratulate them.
Personal touches don’t cost much – but they’re priceless in terms of building connection. - Ask for Feedback – Help Them Get Clear on Your Value
Want to be super referable? Ask clients how you can improve. And ask your clients what they value most – so you keep doing it for them and perhaps for others. Then actually implement what you hear.
This type of conversation helps your clients become super clear on your value. It certainly help you improve your service and/or processes. And it demonstrates a high level of caring about the relationship.
Clients talk about people who make them feel important. Be that person.
If you want to grow a wildly referable practice – one that generates consistent, enthusiastic introductions – you’ve got to go beyond the basics.
Add value. Deepen relationships. Get personal. Deliver memorable experiences. Create true client transformation.
Give your clients a reason to WANT to talk about you to others.
Are you ready to multiply your best clients through effective introductions?
The way of the world – and the way YOUR WORLD – is STILL meeting people through other people. And a well-crafted introduction is still one of the warmest, fastest, most trusted ways to get into someone’s life.
If you’d like help mastering this modern approach to introductions and relationship-driven growth; if you’re ready take your referral confidence and referral results to a higher level – be sure to check out: www.TheCatesAcademy.com
Or perhaps, one of my short-burst coaching programs. www.CoachCates.com
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