Don’t Tell Clients Your Value. Help Them Hear Themselves Say It.

Here’s what’s happening when clients put the value you are providing into their own words.

For years, I’ve been teaching financial professionals the importance of having Value Discussions with their clients.

The basic idea is pretty simple. Instead of assuming you know what clients value about a meeting, your process, their decision to work with you, or your overall working relationship – ask them.

We’ve covered quite a bit in today’s meeting. What stands out as the most important part of what we’ve discussed?

Your decision to move forward with planning is an important one. I know you had a lot of things to consider. I’m curious, what tipped the scales for you?

Where do you believe our process has made the biggest difference for you?

Now that you’ve been through a big part of our process, how has your thinking about your financial situation changed?

I’ve always known there are practical reasons for asking these questions. You learn what your clients truly value. You discover whether the value you think you’re providing is the same value they are actually experiencing.

And, of course, these conversations can create a natural bridge to referrals and introductions.

You are NOT fishing for compliments. Helping prospects and clients get clear about the value they are receiving is in their best interest.

What’s going on in their brain?

When clients speak the value out loud, they aren’t just reporting value; they’re processing it.

A client can have a general sense that the process or the relationship is valuable without ever having put that value into words. They might feel more organized. More confident about retirement. Less worried about making a financial mistake. They probably appreciate knowing that somebody understands the complete picture and is watching over things.

They feel it, but they haven’t necessarily articulated it.

When you ask an open-ended question, their brain has some work to do. And it happens in a matter of seconds.

They have to go back into their experiences with you and retrieve the moments that mattered. They have to consider those experiences, decide what stands out as important, organize their thoughts, and put those thoughts into language.

They hear themselves say it. Instead of you telling the client why you’re valuable, the client is generating the evidence. They’re remembering the experiences. They’re selecting what matters. They’re putting the value into their own words.

Experience → Retrieval → Articulation → Clarity → Accessibility → Future Expression

Articulating the value out loud creates greater clarity because something that had previously been a feeling now has language attached to it.

Once they have articulated that value, it may be easier for them to recall and express in the future.

Now they know what to say to others.

Imagine that six months from now your client is having dinner with friends. One of their friends starts talking about retirement and says, “We really need to find a good financial advisor. Do you like yours?”

Your client now has something available to retrieve.

They’ve thought about the value before. They’ve searched their memory for the evidence. They’ve put their experience into words. In a sense, they have already practiced talking about your value.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we’ve somehow programmed the client to provide referrals. And I’d be very cautious about making some of the neuroscience claims we occasionally hear tossed around these days.

I’ve heard industry consultants make claims such as, “Talking about value releases dopamine!” or “You’re creating a brand-new neural pathway!”

Those explanations sound impressive, but the science is considerably more complicated.

Certainly, everything we think, remember, feel, and say involves activity in the brain, including neurotransmitters and other chemical processes. Positive experiences and rewarding social interactions can involve systems associated with dopamine, oxytocin, endogenous opioids, serotonin, and other neurochemicals.

But I don’t think we need to make the claim that asking a client about value triggers some magical cocktail of feel-good chemicals. The psychology is powerful enough without turning the Value Discussion into a chemistry experiment.

What we can say is that retrieving information can make it easier to access again. Putting thoughts into words requires us to organize them. Personally generated conclusions can become particularly meaningful and memorable. And when people can readily explain why they believe something, that belief can feel more coherent and accessible.

Here’s a big lesson.

Financial professionals spend an enormous amount of time trying to figure out how to communicate their value. We work on value propositions, websites, presentations, brochures, elevator speeches, and clever ways of explaining everything we do. Heck, I help advisors with this. Those things have their place.

Your most persuasive description of your value probably isn’t the one that comes out of your mouth. It’s the one that comes out of your client’s mouth.

I believe we should always strive to express our value proposition in more effective ways.

With that said, something powerful happens when we create conversations that help clients become clearer about the value they are already experiencing.

They’ve practiced talking about you without you ever asking them to practice talking about you.

Don’t tell clients your value. Help them hear themselves say it.

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