The Myth That’s Killing Your Referrals
Let’s get something straight right out of the gate.
Yes, you should show up on time. Yes, you should do what you say, finish what you start, and say please and thank you. Dan Sullivan is 100% right – these are non-negotiables.
But let’s not confuse table stakes with what actually wins the game.
If you think just being polite and punctual is going to have clients raving about you to their friends, family, and golfing buddies… you’re in for a long, quiet wait by the phone.
Being referable – truly worthy of remark – requires a whole different level of engagement. It’s not about being professional. It’s about being memorable. It’s about giving clients something to talk about.
Because here’s the truth: No one refers “fine.”
The Myth of the Competent Professional
Many financial advisors confuse competency with remarkability. They assume that if they keep their head down, do good work, and send a holiday card once a year, clients will naturally talk about them.
Spoiler: they won’t.
Your clients already expect you to be competent. That’s not a differentiator – it’s the price of admission. No one’s going to say, “You’ve got to meet my advisor – he’s always on time!”
(If that is the most remarkable thing about you… we need to talk.)
What DOES Make You Referable?
Being referable is about two things:
1. Continually creating value beyond the expected
2. Building a genuine personal connection
It’s not magic. It’s not manipulation. It’s about showing up for your clients in ways that make their lives easier, better, or more enjoyable – and making sure they feel seen, heard, and appreciated along the way.
Here are 6 strategies you can put into play right now to level up your referability:
1. Develop and Use a Client Engagement Plan
Winging it is not a strategy.
Create a simple, repeatable plan for staying in touch with clients throughout the year – and not just when you want to talk about their portfolio, insurance, or other financial matters. This could include check-in calls, surprise gifts, education sessions, or just thoughtful messages that show you’re paying attention to their life and goals.
A client who hears from you consistently (and not just when it’s review time) feels more cared for – and more likely to recommend you to others.
2. Add Ongoing, Unexpected Value
You want to keep finding ways to continually add value – especially when there’s no urgent issue to solve:
- Share insights about economic conditions.
- Send articles that matter to them.
- Introduce them to other professionals in your network.
- Give their kids financial or career advice.
- Help with a non-financial decision.
The moment you’re no longer adding value, you’re no longer necessary. And no one refers “unnecessary.”
3. Host Client Appreciation Events (Yes, Even Small Ones)
You don’t need to rent out a stadium or bring in a keynote speaker from Shark Tank. A small dinner, a local wine tasting, or a golf outing does the trick. Why?
Because experiences stick. You further your personal connection. And when clients bring a guest, they’re essentially recommending you.
Pro Tip: Err on the side of smaller events. The larger the event, the thinner the connections you will make with the attendees.
4. Break Bread at Least Once a Year (At Least with Your Top Clients)
Sharing a meal changes the dynamic. It moves the relationship from transactional to relational. You don’t have to become BFFs – but you can become what I call “business friends.”
The kind of relationship where they’d actually want to bring you up in a conversation because there’s a real connection there.
Invite a few clients out for a meal or beverage at least once per year. You’ll be amazed how quickly this enhances the relationship.
5. Make It Personal (Without Getting Weird)
Did your client’s child just get into college? Send a card. Did their child win a soccer tournament? Shoot them a text. Did they mention loving a certain book or movie? Send a copy or follow up to talk about it.
Personal touches don’t cost much – but they’re priceless in terms of building connection.
(And if you’re thinking, “I don’t have time for that” – you don’t have time not to.)
6. Ask for Feedback – Help Them Get Clear on Your Value
Want to be super referable? Ask clients how you can improve. Ask clients what they value most – so you keep doing it for them and can do that for others.
Then actually implement what you hear.
This does two things:
- It helps them get clear on your value.
- It helps you improve your service.
- It shows you care enough to ask, listen, and act.
Clients talk about people who make them feel important. Be that person.
Final Word: Don’t Settle for “Fine”
“Fine” doesn’t get referrals. “Fine” is forgettable. “Competent” doesn’t make you remarkable.
So yes – be on time. Do what you say. Say thank you. Those are the minimum requirements for being in this business.
But if you want to grow a wildly referable practice – one that generates consistent, enthusiastic introductions – you’ve got to go further.
Add value. Deepen relationships. Get personal. Create experiences.
Give people a reason to talk about you.
Better yet – give them a reason to WANT to.
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