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Don’t be that “Creepy Referral Guy” at Thanksgiving

by Bill Cates

Picture this: You’re sinking into the plush embrace of a Lazy Boy, basking in the post-turkey glow of a family feast, when your sister’s latest beau, a chap you’ve barely exchanged two words with, decides to make himself comfy on the adjacent sofa. Out of the blue, he hits you with, “So, what do you do?”

In those few seconds, your mind races. Do you launch into your polished elevator pitch, risking the overeager vibe? Pretend you’re too engrossed in the football game to hear him? Or maybe offer a vague reply, hoping he doesn’t pry further? Yet, you are thinking, “This guy could be golden for my business, and he seems well-connected.”

Navigating Social Interactions as a Financial Professional

Discussing your profession in social settings can feel like navigating a complex maze. Veer too far in one direction, and you risk coming off as that overzealous salesperson everyone tries to avoid. Too far in the other, and you might miss valuable opportunities that are right in front of you. The key? Start by humanizing your work, and making your value clear and relatable from the get-go.

Five Ways to Serve Your Value with a Side of Humility :

  1. Your Passionate Why: Begin with the heart of your mission. Share why you’re passionate about your work and the difference it makes in your clients’ lives. Genuine enthusiasm is infectious.

  2. Storytime: Share a brief, impactful story about how you’ve helped a client (anonymously, of course). It’s a conversation starter that paints a vivid picture of your value.

  3. A Dash of Humor: Lighten the mood with a joke. Take a leaf out of an Australian mortgage broker’s book who quips, “I specialize in mortgages, but often I’m more of a marriage counselor.” Laughter is a great icebreaker.

  4. The Problem Solver: Inspired by Donald Miller, start with a common problem, then position yourself as the solution. For instance, “Do you know how many people worry about outliving their retirement savings? I guide my clients to create and stick to a plan ensuring that fear never becomes their reality.” OR – “So many people wonder if they will ever have enough money to stop working and still maintain their lifestyle. I help my clients make working optional.”

  5. The Unique Proposition: Borrowing from Caryn Kopp, use the “Anyone Can… But Only We Can…” formula. “Many advisors can draft a financial plan. But we excel at making the plan a living, breathing guide, adapting as life unfolds, ensuring dreams aren’t just planned but achieved.”

Remember: Authenticity is key. Your words should mirror your true self and resonate with your unique approach.

By weaving these strategies into your conversations, you’ll navigate social settings with ease, making connections without becoming the dreaded “Creepy Referral Guy” at the dinner table.

Be genuine, be engaging, and let your passion for your work shine through (in a genuine but not obnoxious way). Your value isn’t just in what you do; it’s in how you make people feel about their financial future.

Don’t forget ALL of our resources – many of them free – are waiting for you at www.ReferralCoach.com/resources.


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