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Become Fluent in the Language of Referrals – Fix Your Inner Language (Part 1 of 6)

by Bill Cates

Get More Referrals by Adjusting Your Referral Self-Talk

Excerpted from Bill’s new book…

The Language of Referrals: The Words & Scripts Financial Professionals Use to Win More Ideal Clients

Adopting a process to produce a steady flow of introductions to right-fit clients is not rocket science.

The secret to more quality introductions boils down to one overarching fundamental, and that is confidence! Confidence leads to more effective action, which in turn produces the results that you want.

Confidence comes from fluency. You must master what you say and how you say it – in a way that feels completely natural and authentic to you.

My newest book, The Language of Referrals, provides you with a blueprint for finding the right words and phrases to elevate your referability, confidently ask for introductions, address concerns and objections, and turn the willingness to refer into effective connections with your new prospects.

Am I trying to put words in your mouth? You bet I am. When it comes to all the processes you’ll want to put in place to multiply your ideal clients with personal introductions, I want you to become fluent in “the language of referrals.” I want you to never be at a loss for words again.

This article is Part 1 of a 6-part series excerpted from The Language of Referrals.

Removing Your Mistaken Assumptions That Limit Your Results

In my 30 years of helping financial advisors acquire more clients, it’s become evident that most advisors operate from limiting beliefs and mistaken assumptions that compromise their results.

It’s time to remove your counterproductive self-talk and perspectives and replace them with more expansive inner language that will empower you to share your value with those who need your guidance.

Here are 3 of the 11 shifts in your inner language – or self-talk – that will serve to expand your awareness and, therefore, expand your results.

Do you say to yourself, “I’m tapping into the lifetime value of my clients?” Most advisors don’t realize that there are two parts to this important equation.

First, the lifetime value of your client consists of the business you can do with them over the lifetime of your relationship. And certainly, that can be substantial with some clients.

The other part of the equation consists of who they can introduce to you over that same lifetime of working together. If this way of thinking is not part of your “inner language of referrals” then you’ll miss a ton of opportunities sitting right in front of you.

Another example of the inner language of referrals is your self-talk that says, “If I serve the heck out of my clients – deliver great value and create great experiences – that will provide all the organic growth through new clients I need.”

This belief is half true. Yes, delivering great value and creating great experiences should generate unsolicited referrals and introductions. And those count, as long as those new clients fit your criteria for a right-fit client.

Being appropriately proactive for introductions will enhance your ability to get more of just the right types of clients. Being appropriately proactive – which we’ll cover in subsequent parts of this series – will allow you to turn incremental growth into exponential growth.

A third example of inner language is your self-talk that says, “Referrals are no longer enough, I need to think in terms of Introductions.”

I don’t have to tell you how hard it has become to reach people – prospects, clients, and centers of influence. Therefore, these days, we need to think in terms of effective connections, i.e., introductions.

From now on, when you’re with a prospect, client, or influencer – anyone who has the ability to connect you with others – use the word “Introductions.” Because that’s what you want. Use the word that represents the result you’re seeking.

I strongly suggest that your inner language – your self-talk – should tell you that any conversation about potential referrals is not complete until you’ve discussed and secured a solid introduction to your new prospect.

To discover and learn more about the 11 components of a powerful referral mindset, pick up a copy of The Language of Referrals for you and your team members.

I know what you’re thinking. I just told you to use the word introductions, yet I titled my book The Language of Referrals. What gives?

One key principle in marketing is to use words, terms, and concepts that are already in the brain of the intended audience. Every financial professional knows about the value of referrals and most advisors, agents, and reps would like more of the right kind of referrals.

Titling the book, The Language of Introductions would force people to think more about the contents of the book. It’s highly possible the meaning would not have been immediately clear, understandable, and relevant.

IMHO, you always want to apply this principle when talking about your business. You want to use words, terms, and concepts that are immediately familiar to your prospects, clients, and centers of influence. Don’t let your creativity and cleverness get in the way of clarity. If you feel you need to use a term or jargon that is not immediately understood by your audience, then explain it right away – in the same breath or next sentence. Otherwise, you run the risk of losing their interest.

In Part 2 of this 6-part series, I’ll be covering The Language of Becoming Super Referable. This will ignite more unsolicited referrals and personal introductions.

And don’t forget ALL our resources – many of them free – are waiting for you at

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