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Asking for Referrals – Timing is Everything!

by Bill Cates
When to Ask for Referrals? Timing is EVERYTHING!

On March 28, I’ll be hosting our next webinar on how to ask for referrals without pushing or begging. And, as you might imagine, timing is everything. The when to ask for referrals is a critical piece of the puzzle.


Some people ask for referrals (introductions) much too soon in their new relationships, while others wait entirely too long to ask – if they ever ask at all. Just like Goldilocks wanted the chair, the soup, and the bed “just right,” you want your timing to be perfect.


When to Ask for Referrals? When Value Has Been Given and Value Has Been Recognized


A study by Julie Littlechild (Absolute Engagement) demonstrated that 61 percent of people give referrals to help a friend, colleague, or family member. So you want to make your request for referrals (introductions) mostly about the value you bring.


So when do you know that value has been recognized by your prospects or clients?


  1. They will tell you. You hear value-recognizing statements all the time. They say things like “Thank you for taking the time to get to know our situation first.” “You have a real knack for explaining things clearly.” Etc.

    Pay attention to these value-recognizing statements. See that you can often become referable before your prospect even becomes a client.

    The minimum would be to acknowledge these value-recognizing statements and promote introductions by saying something like, “I’m glad you see the value in your process. I’m never too busy to see if I can be a resource for others you think deserve to make an educated decision in this important area.”

  1. You can ask them. You may already know that the V in our V.I.P.S. Method™ stands for Value Discussion. This is where you check in with your prospect or client to make sure you are meeting their expectations; that they are seeing value in your process, communication, and/or overall working relationship.


Interested in learning more about this topic? Click the image below to watch my most recent YouTube video. Also, on March 28, I’ll be delivering a free webinar on the full V.I.P.S. Method. CLICK FOR DETAILS!


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Pay Attention to the Personality of Your Prospect or Client


The timing of when to ask for referrals and introductions is not always cut and dry. There is a bit of an “art” to this.

One factor to consider is the personality of the prospect/client. For example, a very “open person” is likely to let you into their life quickly and, therefore, invited you into the lives of others more quickly. A guarded person – like my statistician father, for example – takes more time to engage and open up to this process.


How someone participates in your Value Discussion is usually a pretty good indicator of their relationship to the referral process. And promoting referrals/introductions acts as a barometer for when to ask.


Again, if you want to go deeper with this topic of when to ask for referrals, make sure you register for our free webinar on March 28, 2017.   See below for more info, or visit:



PLEASE Leave a Comment or Ask a Question about how and when to ask for referrals and introductions. Yes! I want to hear from YOU!


Referral Coach