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3 Little Words That Make a BIG Difference

by Bill Cates

I have discovered three words that have made a huge difference for me in ALL aspects of my life.

These three words can help you with any objection, from anyone, about anything.

With one caveat, however. If you have teenagers, these 3 words lose some of their power.  With teenagers, there’s no issue that good, solid reasoning won’t aggravate further.  (Can I get an amen?)

Are you ready for these words? Drum roll please…  Tell Me More

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How Does This Help?

The more you learn about someone’s objection or position on a certain subject, three things happen:

1. You gain context, understanding and possibly appreciation for their perspective.

2. They feel heard. They appreciate your effort to understand.

3. You have now earned the right and are better equipped to share a differing perspective.

When you rebut or share your perspective too quickly, you run the risk of aggravating the other party and having them grow stronger in their position.

More Examples

When my daughter wanted to do something to which I couldn’t immediately say “yes”, I’d say “tell me more” – to learn more about her request.

And when she strenuously objected to one of my requests of her, I’d learn more by saying “tell me more.”

When YOUR teenager says, “I’m not going to do my homework tonight” … before you lock him or her in their room and turn on the surveillance camera say, “Interesting. Tell me more!”

Shifting to a business example – if you’re asking for referrals (one of my favorite subjects) and your client says, “I don’t like to give referrals.”  Your response should be, “That’s fine. I know some people don’t. Can you tell me more?” And what will they do?  They’ll tell you more.

When someone says, “I’d like to think about it.”  Your response is, “This is an important decision. And I know there are a lot of things to consider – tell me more about the factors you’re considering.”

To get someone to open up … and listen to your differing perspective, you first want to make sure you fully understand their perspective.  If they feel acknowledged and heard, they’ll be more open to your differing point of view.

Try this simple concept as soon as you can and let me know how it goes!  If you liked this message, please… don’t keep it a secret. Forward it to a friend or colleague. And don’t forget ALL our resources – many of them free – are waiting for you at www.ReferralCoach.com


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